Personal Corner

Many people feel uncertain about their future career direction. They often wander through their professional lives without a clear roadmap, hoping to eventually find success. However, there is a powerful strategy you can use to take control of your future and accelerate your career: the 5-Year Vision. This technique, championed by Debbie Millman, is a simple but effective exercise that will help you visualize your ideal life and career five years from now, and guide you in making the right decisions to turn that vision into reality. Step 1: Preparation Time Required: At least 30 minutes Materials Needed: Pen and paper or a digital note-taking app Start by giving yourself the gift of time. Set aside at least 30 minutes where you can be undisturbed. Grab a pen and paper, or… if you prefer, open a blank note on your device. This dedicated time is crucial, as it allows you to deeply reflect and connect with your desires. Step 2: Imagine Your Life 5 Years from Now Imagine that it is August 12, 2029—exactly five years from today. Visualize this day in as much detail as possible. Write down everything about this day, from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep. Be specific and let your imagination run wild. Don’t hold back—dream big! Key questions to consider: Where are you living? Who are you waking up next to? What does your house look like? What time do you start work? What’s on your calendar that day? Who are you working with? What is your salary? How do you feel about your job? What is your health like? How often do you travel? Step 3: Revisit and Refine Your Vision The real power of this exercise lies in repetition and refinement. Schedule time every six months to re-read what you wrote. Put a reminder in your calendar now to revisit your vision. As you grow and learn more about yourself, add more details. Each time you re-read and refine your vision, you bring it closer to reality. Why This Works When you can see your future in crisp detail, you’ll subconsciously move towards it every day. You’ll make micro-decisions over time that keep nudging you in that direction. It’s like setting a destination in Google Maps rather than wandering aimlessly. You’ll know exactly where to turn when you’re at an intersection. Conclusion You might be surprised by what comes out on your paper. We rarely let ourselves dream this honestly and freely, but this exercise is about giving yourself permission to want exactly what you want. Keep writing until you have nothing left to say—until no other desires remain. By committing to this practice, you’ll begin to see your future more clearly and start to take the steps necessary to achieve your dreams. Your career and your life will start moving in the direction you’ve always wanted, faster than you ever thought possible.

This post is a reflection on how I navigate the complexities of work and life, and it belongs right here in the “Personal Corner” of this website. It’s a small space, but it’s where I feel free to share my thoughts, unfiltered and honest. The Myth of Balance Over the years, I’ve come across countless articles, workshops, and conversations about achieving the perfect work-life balance. It’s an appealing concept—a harmonious equilibrium where work and life coexist without friction. But I’ve realized something about myself: I don’t do balance. Not in the way it’s typically presented, at least. For me, life isn’t about maintaining a precarious balance; it’s about embracing the ebb and flow, the push and pull of different aspects of my life. There are seasons where work takes the lead, consuming my time and energy, and there are moments when life demands my full attention, pulling me away from professional obligations. And you know what? That’s okay. Story Time: The Season of Overcommitment ☕ Last month, I found myself at a crossroads. My workload was increasing, and opportunities I’d been waiting for were finally coming to fruition. At the same time, my personal life was bubbling with activity—family gatherings, friendships needing nurturing, and personal goals I had set aside for too long. I tried to juggle it all. I said yes to every project, every social invitation, every personal challenge. I wanted to do it all, to have it all. But as the days turned into nights of little sleep and the stress began to build, I had to confront a hard truth: I was overcommitted, and it was starting to take a toll. I couldn’t really sleep well at night and waking up in the morning was also challenging. A lot of things to do and a lof of things on my mind. Journaling and meditation help, yes. However, it didn’t solve everything. One evening, after a particularly exhausting day, I sat down and asked myself a question that I had been avoiding: “What am I doing this for?” The answer wasn’t simple, but it was necessary. The Reality of Prioritization In that moment of exhaustion, I realized that I had been chasing an ideal that doesn’t exist—not for me, at least. The idea that I could give 100% to every area of my life simultaneously was a myth, a trap that led me to overextend myself until I had nothing left to give. I had to make a choice. And that choice wasn’t about finding balance; it was about setting priorities. I looked at everything on my plate and made the difficult decision to let some things go, to say no where I needed to, and to allow myself the grace to not have it all figured out. The Struggle Between Expectations and Reality This decision wasn’t easy. Like many of us, I’ve been conditioned to believe that success means excelling in every area of life—career, relationships, personal growth—all at the same time. But the reality is that there are times when one aspect of life will take precedence over others, and that’s okay. When I let go of the need for balance and instead focused on what truly mattered to me in that season, I found a sense of peace. I wasn’t failing; I was making a conscious choice to prioritize what was most important to me at that moment. A Lesson in Self-Acceptance What I’ve learned is that life isn’t about achieving a perfect balance; it’s about navigating the tides. It’s about recognizing when you need to pour more of yourself into your work, and when you need to pull back and focus on your personal life. It’s about being okay with the fact that you can’t do it all, all the time. By letting go of the pressure to balance everything perfectly, I’ve found a more authentic way to live—a way that honors the natural ebb and flow of life. It’s not about balance; it’s about being present and intentional with where I invest my energy. As I move forward, I carry this lesson with me: that it’s okay not to do it all, that it’s okay to prioritize, and that sometimes, the most balanced thing you can do is to embrace the imbalance and trust yourself to navigate through it. “Life is not about finding balance; it’s about finding your rhythm and dancing to it.” Cheers to your rhythm and dancing to it 🥂 With best wishes, Atty. Stela or simply, Stela

Understanding Strong-Willed Children: A Lesson in Empathy and Communication I recently came across a video where a psychologist discussed the nature of strong-willed children and how best to “handle” them. The term “strong-willed” often conjures up images of stubbornness and defiance, traits that many parents and educators view as challenging or even troublesome. Yet, the psychologist offered a refreshing perspective: strong-willed children should not be approached with confrontation or dismissed simply because their views differ from ours. Instead, they should be engaged in reasonable conversations, no matter how long these discussions might take. The underlying message was clear: strong-willed children are often intelligent thinkers who deserve to have their thoughts and feelings respected. This approach resonated with me deeply, especially considering my own experiences growing up. I often found myself at odds with the people around me, feeling misunderstood and isolated because my views didn’t align with theirs. Reflecting on those experiences, I now see the importance of the psychologist’s advice: when we take the time to engage in meaningful conversations with strong-willed individuals, we not only validate their intelligence but also nurture their ability to think critically and independently. Reasonable Conversations The psychologist emphasized that when dealing with strong-willed children, it’s crucial not to confront them aggressively or dismiss their ideas outright. Doing so can lead to a power struggle that often leaves both parties frustrated and disconnected. Instead, she suggested having reasonable conversations—no matter how long they take—to explain the reasoning behind your views. This approach isn’t about winning an argument but about fostering understanding and mutual respect. This method of engagement is supported by research in child psychology. A study published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology found that children who are allowed to express their opinions and engage in discussions with adults tend to develop stronger problem-solving skills and a greater sense of autonomy. These children are also more likely to internalize the values and lessons being taught, as opposed to simply following rules out of fear of punishment or desire for approval . Growing Up Different: My Personal Experience Growing up, I often felt like an outsider. My views were different from those of the people around me, and I knew it. While my cousins and classmates had the stability of complete families and attentive parents, my upbringing was different. I lived with my grandmother, and I was told that my father was “nalumos sa sabaw sa tinola” a.k.a drowned in soup [something]. It was some kind of a “joke” (well probably a mockery if I am being honest… of someone or for someone whose father is absent). I did not and still do not take it personally though. Because to be very blunt (okay, you can call me abnormal or unusual at this point), it didn’t matter and still doesn’t matter to me — I was content and happy that I had my grandma. I was and still am very lucky I was raised by the kindest person I’ve ever known on Earth. I wouldn’t trade it for any other way. For some reason though, some of my aunts, uncles, and even some of my adult cousins would frequently remind me of my circumstances, subtly implying that I was lacking in some fundamental way. This sense of being different was compounded by an experience I had in Grade 3 or Grade 4, an experience that still lingers in my memory. During a religion class (Catholicism), I asked a question that had been puzzling me: “What does it mean that God is one but has three personas? Does that mean He is actually three but acts as one?” My question was genuine, born out of a child’s curiosity and desire to understand a concept that didn’t quite make sense to me. Instead of receiving an answer, I was made to stand in class while my teacher diverted the topic entirely. She asked me, in front of all my classmates, “Do you know that you are an illegitimate child? Your mom and dad had you while out of wedlock. You do not have a father now. You were born out of sin. You had to be baptized to cleanse you of your sin.” At the time, I didn’t fully understand what “illegitimate” meant. My mind focused instead on the latter part of her statement: that I had been baptized because I was a sinner when I was born. Confused and still standing, I asked, “I was baptized because I was a sinner when I was born? I am still a sinner now, I think. Aren’t all people who are Catholic needed to be baptized? Because they are also sinners? Just like you, just like me?” (Side comment: Oh dear… I had a knack for making people irate… or should I say uneasy? I can’t really put it into one adjective 😅) The ire in her stare was unmistakable, but I wasn’t trying to be defiant—I was genuinely seeking an answer. The experience left me with more questions than answers, and for years afterward, I kept wondering: why did she tell me I was an illegitimate child? What was the point of making that distinction in front of the class? Was it to educate me and my classmates that I was somehow different, or was it meant to label me as a particular kind of sinner—one that was “special” in some unfortunate way? The Power of Empathy and Understanding Looking back, I realize that the religious teacher’s response was not an example of the reasonable conversation that the psychologist in the video advocated. It was a missed opportunity to engage with a curious child in a meaningful way. Instead of fostering understanding, it created confusion and a sense of alienation. In contrast, the psychologist’s approach encourages us to engage with strong-willed children—or anyone who challenges our views—with empathy and understanding. By taking the time to listen and explain our reasoning, we not only validate their intelligence but also help them develop critical thinking skills and a deeper understanding of the world around them.